unclefather:

how to kiss a boy

  1. grab his waist
  2. slip your hand in his pocket
  3. steal his wallet
  4. dont even kiss him
  5. just run

(via relahvant)

caitluffs:

applethefruit:

crrocs:

how am i supposed to make creative funny text posts when nothing happens in my life at all

you just use a story from sims and pretend it really happened to you

one time i was swimming but the pool ladders disappeared so i couldn’t get out of the pool and i swam for 10 hours then died

(via seine-dunkle-innen)

likeigiveabother:

i dont have a good side im just equally ugly all over

(via castasidethesechains)

sassadilla:

i have more selfies than friends

(via phobias)

spermbanker:

sorry if i’ve been acting like a bitch lately. please let me explain

Read More

babyferaligator:

*steals ur girl* *mom finds out and makes me return her and apologize*

(via fake-mermaid)

You was real cute til u had said that stupid shit

(via helyon)

clitreaper:

when you are trying to make a mutual with someone who won’t follow you back 

image

(via fake-mermaid)